I am having an issue that I have no idea how to solve and would like your advice on how to proceed.
Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve loved space. I read all the books in the library about it, watched all the PBS specials, and even bought a telescope to watch the stars at night. I built model airplanes and space modules and put them all over my room. My girlfriend of a year and a half knows about my “obsession” with all things space, but I have recently uncovered a revelation that may put a strain on our relationship if I tell her. I have a space kink.
I’ve found myself fantasizing about fucking her in an Apollo 11 style spacesuit and giving me head wearing the signature large helmet. And the more I think about it, the more it turns me on. It has gotten to a point where I can’t even masturbate without thinking about this situation, or one similar. During sex, I can only cum when I think of this image, no matter what position we are in.
My girlfriend herself is prone to kinks and fetishes. She often has me dress in a Catholic Priests robe, with her in a schoolgirl uniform, and we go from there. When she told me, I was a bit apprehensive at first, but I knew it was something she was yearning to do and indulged her. But I don’t know if she would do the same for me.
I have yet to tell her, for fear that she will brand me a “freak” and break-up with me. Our relationship has been solid so far, but I’m scared that if I let her in on this part of me, she will resent me for it. And I know that it is an unusual thing to have a fetish for, but why can’t I indulge myself in what I find pleasurable? Should I be worried about what she thinks about it?
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much.
— Kinky in the Closet
Hello Kinky! We really enjoyed receiving your question this week, mainly because for the most part, this is a group of people that totally geek out on just a few things. A couple of them being science and sex! This week our responses to your question were all similar, but it also left us with more questions. We will get to those questions in a minute.
You are correct to call your current fantasy a fetish. Fetishes can be a lot of fun, and they can also be dangerous. While everyone has their own definition for what constitutes a fetish versus a kink, for us, we like this explanation that we learned. A kink is something used to enhance sexual activity, a fetish is something that you cannot be sexual without. The fact that you are using this fantasy in order to maintain erections and have orgasms would qualify it as a fetish.
Fetishes can be fun and wonderful, or they can get dangerous. When we start to do things that are not safe, or sane, or consensual, that fetish is problematic, and it starts to look like the dangerous symptoms of addiction. What really scares us is when people are turned into fetishes non-consensually. When we start to treat a certain race of people, size of person, or age of person as a fetish we get dangerously close to forgetting that they are people and treating them as objects. If they are not informed that they are simply a sex object it is yucky and can hurt people and turn ugly.
Okay, now on to your issue. Your girlfriend already knows about your space obsession and according to your letter, she is ok with it. You have also indulged her very specific role play and dress up fantasies. In fact, you indulged hers even though you were apprehensive. Her specific fantasy is kind of dark. Not only is it dipping into sacrilegious play, it also seems like a very specific age-related fantasy. Priest and schoolgirl dips it’s toe into pedophilia and that may have been where you got a little squeamish. We can’t say for sure, as it also could be that you were raised in a spiritual home and don’t like pretending to be a man of the cloth while engaged in sexual activity. Regardless, that seems a lot kinkier to us than what you are looking to request.
Basically, we don’t think that your fantasy is that off base. Astronauts are cool. They are up there with cops, cowboys, military, and other uniforms and costumes that lots of people find sexy and want to play in. The very thought of orally servicing an astronaut after he returns from a mission is one that gets our juices flowing. We may have to borrow your fantasy and do a little role play of our own!
If your girlfriend was comfortable enough to come to you and ask for her fantasy, you should feel comfortable enough to bring up yours as well. That is where our questions for you come in. We feel like there may be something you are not telling us. Has she expressed discomfort with your space obsession? Has she warned you that she does not want to hear about it anymore? There is really no reason for your girlfriend to have a problem with this if she is already into roleplay. We even went online and discovered that costumes to help you achieve this space man look would be under $100 for some good costumes.
Roleplay is a healthy way to express our fantasies, and we see no reason that you cannot incorporate this one into your sexual encounters. If this girlfriend doesn’t want to do it, there are some people in our crew that might want to meet you for a cup of coffee and chat about it. ;-P
Here is an idea that might help you out a bit. Why not incorporate her roleplay in with yours and then you can both be happy! The Roman Catholic church has been part of conversations about space on multiple occasions. A signed message from Pope Paul VI was included on a silicon disk during Apollo 11. William Borders, the Bishop of Orlando told the Pope that the moon was within his diocese, and in 1994 three Catholic Astronauts received Holy Communion while on Space Shuttle Mission STS-59. We see no reason that one of those Catholic Astronauts could not make their way into the play and fantasy when you are discussing this with your partner.
To finish, having kinks and fetishes doesn’t make you a freak, well, not in the bad way at least. Keep it kinky friend. Your fantasy is innocent, and if your girlfriend breaks up with you over something that sounds like that much fun, she probably isn’t the right girl for you.
The Alaskan’s are always looking for that orgasm that will take them to outer space. Do you have questions about how to achieve it? Drop a line to email@example.com