I hate my job. I am ready to quit, but I'm a single mom, and I don't see any options other than staying where I am. Beyond hating my job, I don't even have a hobby. It seems like everyone has one but me. I'm finding life so unfulfilling. What can I do?
- Find me a Hobby
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Dear Find Me A Hobby,
Wouldn't it be so easy if life were a one-size-fits-all?!? I think not. Each person is so special and has so much to offer the world, and so do you!
So you don't have a hobby. It's not a requirement for a full life. You should only take on a hobby if it calls to you. Hobbies aren't something you need, they are an expression of joy in an area outside our main areas of work. But any creative expression can only flourish when we are relaxed and that part of our brains is working. When people are stressed—as you seem to be—your body goes into flight, fight, or freeze mode. A hobby couldn't even find its way to you if it tried right now.
The first thing I would suggest is to be gentle with yourself. Love yourself as you are right now, hobby or no hobby, great job or job that you hate, single or with someone. All this outside stuff is never the solution. But loving ourselves as we are IS!
Take one week to just focus on being loving to yourself and praising yourself every day. At the end of the day, write or say ten things that you did to care for yourself, such as: drank water, walked, peed, and so on. Make yourself the love of your life. And then . . . watch for the magic.
What will happen? I couldn't tell you for certain, but what I do know is that it will be amazing. Maybe you'll start standing up for yourself, maybe an idea for a hobby will come to you — or a job, a date, a new friend, or some other wonderful thing. Maybe you'll just learn how nice it feels to be kind to yourself and want to continue this practice.
A friend of mine recently tried to get a job. He sent his resume everywhere for eight months. He pushed and tried, but nothing happened. I suggested he find his favorite coffee shop, buy a coffee, and find a park he loved. I told him to go to the park and turn his phone off for 30 minutes. His only job was to enjoy the coffee, the park, and everything around him. He told me I was crazy. But a week later, he called me. “Oskar, OMG!” he began. "I did what you said, and 30 minutes after I left the park, I got a job!" It wasn't the going to the park that got him the job, but the letting go of trying to make something happen. When we push too hard, we push away the things we desire. Life is a balance between taking action, allowing that action to flourish on its own and listening to our inner guidance as to what we should do next (if anything).
I will just remind you that each of us has a fingerprint that is unique to us, and every individual makes such a big difference in this world. Stay positive (even if it's hard) and be open to possibilities. Your right thing is waiting for you. We're waiting for you! I can't wait to hear about your magic! I wish you the best.
