We were under the impression that the New Yorker magazine, that bastion of cultural and literary elitism (yeah, we subscribe), had more fact checkers per sentence than any other publication in existence. But perhaps we’re wrong. In Sam Tanenhaus’s review of Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue, he refers to the chair of the Alaska Republican Party as “Rudy Ruedrich.” We hope Randy’s laughing at the mistake. Then again, he probably doesn’t read liberal propaganda like the New Yorker.

Speaking of Going Rogue—and we promise we’ll stop soon—Briefs’ copy didn’t make it in the mail from Amazon (purchased at the bargain-basement price of $12.99 after shipping) until Friday, November 20, by which time the book had been uber-analyzed and excerpted all over the intertubez. Nonetheless, knowing the package was waiting at home, Briefs stopped by the Brown Jug Warehouse to pick up a bottle of Frostbite, the newest release from Alaska Distillery, formerly known as Glacier Creek Distillery.

Frostbite is the less expensive little brother of Permafrost, the premium vodka that Toby Foster and his partners started off manufacturing and selling. Frostbite’s a cheaper vodka because it’s distilled with grain instead of Valley potatoes, like Permafrost (they both use glacier water from Glacier Creek). According to Foster, the first batch of Frostbite was a combination of grain from the Lower 48 and Alaska, but the distillery just signed a deal with a farmer in Delta Junction for his barley and they’ll be using 100 percent Alaska grain in the future. Frostbite was excellent vodka for the price ($28.99 if we recall correctly), but in the end, Briefs gave up on Going Rogue at page 29. Even shots of freezer-chilled vodka couldn’t get us any further. (Briefs didn’t give up on the vodka, but switched books to Jon Krakauer’s latest, the excellent Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman.) Sorry Sarah—even on the cheap, your book just isn’t readable.

When Foster learned that Frostbite hadn’t gotten Briefs through the book, he wrote, “I don’t think even heroin would get you through Going Rogue.” Agreed.

Somehow Briefs ended up on the digital mailing list of the Tea Party Express, which occasionally provides some entertainment. On November 27 a missive came declaring “SARAH PALIN PETITION SURGES TO #1.” Of course, we had to read the petition, with its 30,000-plus signatories, particularly in light of the news Palin will be headlining the National Tea Party Convention in early February, also featuring fellow crazy lady Representative Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota). Here’s the petition’s text:

“I join with other Americans in professing my support for Gov. Sarah Palin, who has emerged as a dynamic, uplifting, and gracious advocate for conservative ideals in our modern day society.

I also deplore the news media's horribly biased, negative and defamatory coverage of Gov. Palin.

We the undersigned wish to send a message of ‘thanks’ to Gov. Palin this Thanksgiving Day 2009. And we ask those in the news media to look inside their souls and seek out some semblance of objectivity and fairness when reporting on conservative leaders such as Sarah Palin.

Our nation and Sarah Palin deserve better than what we've been offered by journalists who have completely bastardized their trade.”

Briefs is looking inside his soul right now, and the resident objectivity and fairness is waving a sign asking for a shot of Frostbite.

(And, lest you thought you’d get away with no Levi Johnston related gossip this week, we refer you to Savage Love on page 36, where Dan Savage has some sage advice for the young man.)

bjk@anchoragepress.com